Glance to a stare.

Back where it all began,

Neither of us knowing,

To think it started with a glance

And a quiet humble request

For green tea.

Back to the days 

Of me preparing for work

With a green tea, some granola,

And a pair of cigarettes.

Cute Asian girl with big brown eyes. 

Swear she takes out the trash

And goes on break 

Every time I arrive.

She tells me of

Her club filled weekend

Shilling drinks for the guverment,

Talks about crazy cousin; her new apartment.

I drink my tea obliviously.

The day she came to my work,

The day she bought me chocolate cake, I saw friendship,

No more.

No idea the elephant in the room and the lamb at the door.

No idea what lay in store.

The day I invited her out, and fell asleep at the movie.

Her housewarming party, I started to wonder if I was more than company. 

A raffle where I knew I had found a prize; the awkward goodbye.

Four years later

I still realize

How blessed in the mess of a world

One can be, 

That of all the coffee shops

In all the world, 

Here, she met me

And we walk now 

To endevour the aisle,

To endevour life's trials and tribulations together.

To think it started

With a glance,

Was sealed with a kiss,

And has brought me such bliss.

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the closer i get

the closer i get,

the more fragile the lost be set,

I travel a far to seek the one, the only one.

these odd bits and sputters of jealiously... for surely... they are still searching for what I have found and what truly accents me.

no contest, I'm as bright as the sun.

I will take it as flatterly... maybe you, and your harassment... mindfuck ontario assault and battery.

There is peace where my heart does rest.

For I know, as well as you, my Rosie Baby,

you are the end all, the piece to solve my riddle.

I know this to be true, I am nothing but honest with you.

I love you with all my good heart,

xxx

Dead Organism

We boys,
When will we men be?
Accept the flaws in chemistry?
A new clear dawn for a humane society.

You girls,
With your violet eyes,
Spinning lies to protect bad guys.
Where have all your daddies gone?
When will you ever learn?

Lovers drift
Shifting on winds of environment.
Sentiment to sediment blowing, wearing rock thin.
Gun barrel cob webs from the
Eight legs perspective.
The next act of passion
May ruin more then a home.

We girls
Asking for a change
Walking away, hard to let you go
Harder, trapped, stuck in your mind till you find something better.

You boys
With your fantasies of first and forever, afraid to chance before 40
Finding a next girl, afraid to know some girl may get you better.

Respect the X
Walk, Walk
Mumble to yourself
It's good for your health son,
Bleed it on a juice soaked page.
Respect yourself
Find something new
To
Lay your hips into
New perspectives and points of view,
Just be honest, true to you, and the fruits of your labour will astonish you.

"take a step out of yourself, then ya turn around, take a look at what you are, it's pretty scary." -Nirvana

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By Ourselves

We Father Ourselves

We Father Ourselves

By Ourselves

To a friend on Deportation Day

We'll be singing
Loud enough to wake the dead
Laughing so hard
Coma patients will lose sleep.
When we meet again
Somewhere, somehow
We will forget today's farewell.

A spinning world
On the verge of catastrophe
A sinking feeling
They've taken my friend from me.
An end of beginnings that never came to be.
They can take my friend
But never our friendship from me.

I want to cry,
I want to drink,
Slink away from my feelings
Sink to the bottom,
Hold my breath.
But I float like the snow flakes
You hoped to avoid
As you drive to the airport
Afraid to fly
But resigned to your fate.

The sickness envelops me,
A night of feverish dreams
Broken by waking in sweat,
checking the clock
Wishing it was over
Wishing it would never end.

Spouting cliche
Hiding what the heart longs to say.
I can't beg you to stay,
I know this is for the best
And you have no choice anyways.

Good bye señor
Goodbye Junior
Fare well Bledar
May your path be lined with gold,
May you find the happiness
You deserve.

Peace.

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out on the open road

 
Standing out in the fall forest, a white elephant

a stand out stand alone looking fo a pack
hoping not to draw the negative attentions
tense with the news
shamed in the blues
ways i knew and now
i just dont know
Silent on the telephone.
in the forest, but not alone

Gestate
The crash
Eat every little piece
Of broken bloody glass

Savour
The flavours of defeat
Bitter and disheartening
To know the blame of this collapse.

Relish
In the embellished truth
Lies told in time
To cover watering eyes.

Bask
In the new clear dawn
Brought in with all the frustrations
Of birds clawing their way south.

Bless
Us and every one
Send them a sign
You're paying attention.

The taste of seatbelt
Ripped through the waste
The sirens cry out fierce
Among the carnage.

A belly full
A sorrowful goodbye
To the joyful times
Blood on the pavement in my eyes.

Grasp
the little hope
In her little ring
Ashamed their is nothing to offer.

breathe
In, out
The jaws tear through
Machines put life in you.

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Pressure

It starts slow
A little drip
A drop
The pressure builds.
A drop
A drip
It starts slow.

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si vous n'arretez pas de me faire sentir comme une merde, et dire je t' aime.

Je pourrais aussi bien ne pas exister.

spit.

forget us not.. we are the..

underbellied, and cut.

cleavered,

kicked in the *ing face.

internet holds no bounds.

texting, sexting..

everything is recorded, even pain.

rationalism?

a loss of sleep.

sleep?

everything is torn.

me?

empty.

Love me

Love me
And I will love you,
Faithful and true.
Try to own me and I will object
As objects are aught to do.

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Hellooo,

You found me, and for that I have found myself.

And for that I cannot thank you enough, but I will..
By loving you more each and every single day.

Hand and hand,

by your side.

Filling scrap books, albums, saving nic nacs, and monumental trinkets.

Simply,

Growing old together.

I feel silly, typing and backspacing...

There is no true explanation of the way I feel, except..

I love you,

xxx

Monday

If you could only see, what I see little Miss.

Then maybe you'd probably stop smoking meth.

It's not the rambling, or random remarks at the floor or walls.

It's when you cross that threshold, and violate our space. You're delusional, physically aggressive to one's self, and others. Sure, I have a big and beautifully creepy brow, there's no reason to stare at me now. The one tooth wonder called me a mother*er.

Over the hill alcoholics, that like to call themselves business savvy.

Inbetween buzz and kill meatheads.

Passer by, stare downs.

Grumbling thoughtful truths.

"How's it going?" Daggers, aggressive, and simply pointless.

Did you get off on trying to be tough? The way you hurt your family isn't that enough?

Honestly, yeah.. How is it going Mister? Are you alright?

Would like to tell him to go home and try to fix his shitty marriage, but this so called gent probably likes his idiot box more then the real thing.

But it's best to play it cool, especially when you are minding your own business, it seems that all the lost souls are a bunch of flesh eating shit hawks, just begging you to lose your shit.

If there is a problem, I shall remove it. Reasoning of deduction: rationalism.

A complete and udder avoidance of tard-bots is essential to a clear and healthly mindset.

Since the majority of the world is *ing crazy, especially at night.

Normally, this is why I drive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV_3Dpw-BRY

Space invaders

Because you’re insane,

It must cause you pain,

To shout till you’re red,

And everyone’s blue,

And you can’t understand

Why they can’t stand you.

Because you’re insane,

It’s not you that’s to blame,

When your mind aims to maim,

I think it’s a shame,

Cos I’m perfectly sane,

In the same world as you.

No Problem @ All

Well..Guess what...
When I'm alone,
sometimes, parts of
me decide to cry,
expulsing pieces of me
that like opalescent
soldiers march, and well,
these puzzles pieces are
meant to die;
After 2 weeks they say
* it, I'm gonna leave this
all behind; Well from a tube
I watch bodies bare knuckle
a ball or two; a shaft or five...
Things smacking, someone
yelling:
"Oh yeah! Right there, is fine!"
But quite frankly this problem,
which seems to be no problem
is fine; Cause the only bacteria
I might catch is some kind of
bening monophyly clade...
AaAigghhttt...

When technology

It catches up to art and you can part into pixels every fickle speck
Recall all you felt pelted down
Curse pursed lips and pursuits more trivial then vain
Training eyes to realize the real is compromised by the thin guise we hide behind
Found in a shroud
found out an brought to life
One click whiz bang flip
Another to discover under another cover
Friend of freedom and deceiver of lovers
Dreamer redeemed unesteemed out of steam
Growing older.
It is out there for you, I sit dormant in me.

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Known

Your biggest pleasure, your deepest pain,

Everything you lose, everything you gain,

And all the hopes and dreams you bleed,

All the things you think you need,

Every pursuit you ached to get,

Are all the moments you regret,

Every time life made you retch,

Every muscle you built to stretch,

Everything that made you lust,

On translucent skin spurt, left to crust,

And everything that felt surreal,

The highs you’re not supposed to feel,

The times you beat her black and blue,

And when she says she still loves you,

Your crushing blows your awful lows;

She wears her makeup, no one knows.

Lost in spool
Ina pool
In a haze dazed
Days on end freind
Spinning and spinning whirpool sucking
It in each breath
Bereft and going to depths stepping
Down the spiral staircase to the laboratory
Where all the gory mixed emotions are plastered like page three girls on an gordies dorm wall, too young to know better to secure to let go
Thrown around drowning in the clowning around no real purpose bloated ego porpoise and you propose I go with the flow
But I'm choking smoking my cigarette down to the finger tips burning my throat and my eyes and my lips the ships float so freely above and I am looked strait in the eye by a hurricane
Calm
Surrounded by the things that change strange to be in the center of it all and so far from safe, shielded by horseshoes and northstars and fate and the rate of decline seems the rate of relapse
Clasping to things I should know better then grasp,
Fruit forbidden hidden in dark corners of the nether sphere never worry or wonder just blunder unclear worlds of wearisome worries like life is rushing gushing and I'm in a hurry to spill spoil all the engaged turmoil and soil another kb with the questions and quest built inside of me. Swimming in circles endlessaimless L E

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Derealization

Shook off the surface skaters,

Life fakers, split makers, heady high heartbreakers.

Followed the heavy moon round, mothed a shadowed light shroud,

Sky slipped through bottle sips, mind trips, ashy smokey fingertips.

Hard fought, whipped, sharp hipped, swollen lipped,

Raw stripped;

Found; unbound.

Prinkly

The hair today was tinkly...

Normally it's bald like Alec Baldwin...

But who am I to be, to want this

particular lean cuisine..

I thought I might've been a terrorist

attacking that zone, with a certain type

of animal ferociousness..

I don't casually write, like casually

drinking a dollar 25 Poland Spring..

Possible Canadian off-springs.

You wear your sunglasses to hide

the wrinkles on your face..

I guess if you were in Brazil

you'd have Brazilian tears...

I might've listened to a

few songs from Tears for Fears..

I got tears for years, if I was doing

what you were doing, I might notice

my flesh tear a little.. American Bald Eagle..

but your possibly French-Canadian.. States soil..

Your body gets wet, you soil..

At least thats what some doctors

consider it.. Soil..

Ferment it with gadgets this soil,.

I got orange seeds. You got apple seeds.

I thought watermelon

sounds like another one too...

While you secretly tell me: what's beneath the

inside of these walls..

I casually write contemporary type for these halls...

i want to make ninja babies with you

rosie: haha
yeah
super babies
roj babies
Sent at 6:25 PM on Wednesday
me: hahaha
rojah!
heeee yahhh!
rosie: yeah
little ninja babies
Sent at 6:28 PM on Wednesday
me: mmmm little cutiecutes
rosie: i miss my weremonkey
me: awwww our own little roro
rojo
rojomomo

rosie: awww baby
i want you
Sent at 6:36 PM on Wednesday
me: i have you and you have me ' we have the veryy best family'' la la la
i want you too love
but i doubt you do at this moment since i sang a barney reference la la la

rosie: haha no its ok
id love you even if you were a weird purple dinosaur
me: hahahahah that is the coolest thing i have ever heard hahahah can i bleed the past two lines?

rosie: you can bleed
i love you

22/11

Pressure drop
Your heart stops
Your ears pop
The power goes off
No where to begin so you stop.

Pale, panic grips you
As the windows pop
You hear the stomp
Of the hailstones pelting.
Helter skelter, run for the shelter
Hide from the wrath
As nature forces it's way
Through
Hide from nature
And hope it doesn't find you
Bleeding in the corner of the basement
Hope it doesn't tear down
The walls.
A raised roof crumbles outside the window. A car alarm blares under the black sky littered with debris. The tree that offered shade exposes it roots.

Then silence, deafening, shattered by distant sirens drawing nearer.

The eerie calm, as the rain comes through the walls, washes the blood away.

A panic call hits jammed networks.

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Phone

So we play telephone..

We play to the point where
the signals might even

cross... to the point where
I'm fading...
Still trying to understand
but probably never will. .
I don't have what you
have.. You certainly
don't have what I have..
It seems like I'm old
news.. Someone you could
use.. Maybe abuse a little..
Who knew you had
it in you..
Admit it.. I'm your
religious muse. When
God doesn't answer
you break my door
down wondering what
happened to the
spirit of your
religious views.....
Blame me for what's
wrong with the world...
Blame me for what's
wrong with how your
friends respond
to the text or
everything you
could swear was wrong
with this economy
or that CNN you miss on
your Tuesday news..

I guess leave it up to me

to save you and the world..
Leave it up to the ones
that 'might' could.
The ones that Listen
to everything from
your dog drooling
to your toilet paper
running out.. I'm sorry
certain things didn't work
out.

Till then I'm game.

I'll hold the evil rifle
to shoot away all that
harms you. All that
bothers you. I'm not
even your boyfriend.
Why bother me?
It's because I could.
Because you knew I would.
because the bottle of
'Makers Mark' would
minimize the the hurt, my
hurt, from all that would.
*ck it. I'M your semi
Super-Man, who knew?
I do your everything...
your everything..
Your everything...

Dear America

I cannot see
How you can be
So blind
Blaming Obama
For Bushes destruction
How quick to forget
Billion dollar wars
Blind eye financing
You set up your own demise
Then set your sights on a scapegoat.
McCain did not want to win
That is why he chose Palin.
A distraction.
Well Bush was throwing trillion dollar bandaids on his boo boos,
You folks were debating the lipsticked pig,
Obama inherited Rome after Nero,
Bush fired up his fiddle as he walked out the door.
With your arrogance and ignorance of the general populous
You'll get exactly what you deserve.

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Life

Locked behind bones,
and muscle keyes,
Roped veins and capillaries,
Locked behind time,
and memories,
Broken dreams and spilling seed,

This is where you'll find me,
Hung and crushed in gravity,
Doing time,
Til time ends me.

Fish Fetus

Fish fetus
Baby mammal
Born in water,
We say we've evolved
But it's still getting hotter.

Gone past the point of sustainable
A future unobtainable,
The circumstance of obstinance
Chalk it up to circumstance
A white line in the sand
Pipe lines and the rip tide,

The gaping divide
Between us and the other side
A pride that won't give up.
Judge the peers with fear
Of judgement.

Blood borne grudges
Toxic sludges,
The slugs devour flower petals
As we devour slugs.
The bee stings for survival
Devoid of wrath.
We carve a wide path through the vegetation, build our walls and call it civilization,

Wondering on the television
The cause of our creation
Frustrated yet sedated by distraction,
The attraction of an Eden, an afterlife,
A chosen feeling.
Believing we can transcend this plain,
(On Venus we'll be fish again,
as on Mars, we were something more then we are.)
Be young and beautiful again.

The shark fin is above the water
We tread above sharp coral
The chorus is drowned out by the din of the drama.
The teeth glisten an unnatural white
Laughing with the tragedies irony
The signs were posted and we said,
"It won't happen to me."

We crossed the line
Through the crease
Greased the gear
Invented, repented, only to make the same mistakes again.
Drawn back to from whence we came,
A chemical bath.

Unquantifiable physics
The distance of a spiral from beginning to end, spinning farther out with every pass, coming into itself again.
A balance spread across infinity,
An ego crushing irrelevance.

A fish out of water
Waiting for the tide to pull us back in.

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Mr. Gloomyhead.

Wake up, gloom.
Sit and stare in my room.
Burnt little scar,
Oh' how wonderfull you are.
cream? cover!?! morale???
Empty shell.
Pride comes with a sting.
Hopefully, see my Baby. Sing.
Up, upon the computer screen.
My Queen.
Oh' how you can see how truly deep I really am bleeding.
Well? Well! If I am stuck in this shell.
And there, I shall dwell.
We'll speak again, with light that is true.
Another day, when this boy is not so blue.

Love you,

It's a darker blue now but it's translucent, more like morning light,
It looked transparent to me slightly, and I was underneath.
The air here makes it wet to breath, flies die in your watery eyes, charcoal rimmed, blacked to the brim.
All of our conversations that didn't quite make sense;
'Thrust me out of my mind, realign my twisted spine, the sky is a diamond mine, shine shine.'
And I said I don't know why; I just did.
And pure bliss from a craving satisfied, year yearning quenched. Whole minutes passed by. Words floundered and cracked.
In this blue time of change you are unswung and wild in all this planned growth. In your light locked golden nights you scatter sleep through the blurred heat of daylight. How everyday melted into one,
You are everywhere, everywhere at once,
Aware only too well that whilst you occupy both places you surrender to being nowhere.
But you write in smudged circles and fail to contribute.
My drowned memories resurface gasping and swollen, and stuck in this muted bubble I burst a thousand minutes fat with our recorded lives.
My mind is an avalanch of words today that only buries meaning.

Come on

No idea how I got here.
Mornings blend
Of caffeine and brake lights,
Cigarettes and stop lights.

Long days broke
n by short nights.

Cold rain bone ache
Bearing the weight
One borne to fate,
Elated I have the ability
To relate this
Tuesday morning feeling.

"great men or even men a little out of the common, that is to say capable of giving some new word, must from their very nature be criminals—more or less, of course. Otherwise it's hard for them to get out of the common rut; and to remain in the common rut is what they can't submit to, from their very nature again, and to my mind they ought not, indeed, to submit to it. You see that there is nothing particularly new in all that.

-Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky"

I repeat myself
A sediment of sentiment
Past on through the ages
A chip off the old block
Not the diamond but the silt
A voice not of greatness
But one of the common
Calling from the cavernous rut
Where most stand muted in anticipation.

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Snowy Night

Heart beating
At twenty five thousand
Beats per minute
Careening through the goat trails
Riding a yellow line
Between precaution and pretension.
The wind pulls my fellow travelers
Off the track
Littered in ditches
Along the icy path.
Knuckles white as the snow
Flying past my eyes
Warp speed,
Hoping I am on the right side
As a stranger in the night
Appears in the horizon.
I find the yellow line again
Reassurance in a world wiped clean
Of colour.
I hold it to my side,
As I ride out the storm.

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At sea

We're lost at sea,
Through the trees we flee, run stagnant estuaries,
Ice shattered golden leaves,

Cos' it was a long time, long time,
Since we screamed as loud as we pleased,
It's was a long time,
Since we just breathed.

We're lost at sea,
And bright burns the golden shores we flee,
Now our lights glow silver binary,
And our stone harbours are faded memories.

Well it was a long time, long time
Since we screamed as loud as we pleased,
It was a long time,
Since we just breathed.

Leave us lost at sea,
Tangled ankles rooted weeds,
Stinging salt skin bitter breeze,

Leave us lost at sea,
To hear the waves roar,
Everytime they hit the shore.

Leave us lost at sea,
For like the waves we'll break,
And when the current comes to us, to take,
Don't rescue me.

Trous

Non, Il doit y avoir un trou dans votre tete.

Il n'y a rien de pire qu'une petite chienne avec un pistolet.

Nous avons construit la civilisation de l'epoque et maintes fois avec les mains et la sueur de notre front.

Pouvez-vous etre un peu plus creatif et moins offensant pour vous?

Desole de le dire mais vous etes votre propre esclave.

Je ne veux pas etre harse avec des mots, mais tres stereotypees. Bon travail!

Ou avez la courbe d'apprentissage d'arret?

Je parie que ta mere est si fiere de toi.

et c'est ma realite

Si je vous blesser Baby, je suis desole.
meme si vous savez cela ne signifiait rien du tout.
Je veux etre capable de tout partager avec vous.
Il etait egoiste, surtout un jour comme si c'etait hier.
Ressenti la douleur et la confusion de plus en plus, la perte d'un etre cher.
J'ai ete malade toute la journee. Avez-vous une mauvaise impression de moi?
se soucier de vous.
Je pouvais a peine meme fonction.

et... J'ai flunked mon examen mensuel.

Partout dans un reve stupide?


Je t'aime, et c'est ma realite.

tete de bete malade

ce que je vois dans mes reves,
n'est pas du tout ce que je pense.
mon tete malade joue des tours.
au moins elle se termine bien.

Riding the tracks.

Psychological Meaning: Your future is ‘on track’. As trains follow a fixed route, this dream may suggest that you are being helped with your journey through life. If you dream of missing a train or passing your destination, it may indicate that you feel that you have missed an opportunity.

Also, are you a conformist? Jung believed that to dream of taking a public vehicle often means that the dreamer is not finding their own way forward and is behaving like everyone else. (Freud believed that to dream of missing a train meant missing death.)

He also was convinced that all dreams involving motion represented disguised wish fulfilments for sexual intercourse. In particular he claimed that a train represents a penis and when it goes into a tunnel this indicates sexual intercourse.

Mystical Meaning: Dreamers of long ago believed that to dream of travelling indicates a change in your fortunes. It is particularly fortunate if the destination is towards high hills or mountains. And, if the journey is in a straight line, your good fortune comes swiftly.

Wearing thin

Wearing thin
This guise.
Guided to the apex
Of compromise,
Suffer the poison
For the sweet effect,
Rejecting the future
While building towards it.
Cashing pension cheques I'll never see,
A damned chapter of society,
Raised on vice and sugar,
Gluttoness, lecherous, laugh it off
Sinners.
The winning are self involved,
The losing are losing it all,
To prepare for the moment
When the winners fall.
And the new baby crawls
Toward a fate
Of broken glass
In this world
Where our mirrored empires
Will collapse,
When the world drifts by on the tide,
The liar of today
Will be scorned for his truth,
witch hunters burned,
The breast emblazoned with instinct again.
All this will be pointless as ever
Futility of the feudal masses
Cramped in a corner craving exemption
From the effect of their cause.
The sun has set a little later today
smell of a winter wasting away
garbage surfaces in fresh decay.
The gold drops in
In the shape of a grin
reminds me
It will all be okay.

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Big Plans

Got big plans, oh yes... yes I do...

I can finally tell my winter jacket to fokk off!

To a new day, Hurray!!!!

Windy Monday

Tearing at the prayer flags
Threatens to pull me over
Violently caressing
Unkempt hair
Penthouse balcony.
Push another week
Fridays victory
Million kisses
Away.
Work, rinse, eat, sleep
Repeat.
Wind mighty enough
To pull out
My belly fluff.

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The Call

Running through wires
Killing left and right
Semtex Uzi and a knife
Silent in my room
Killing you
A thousand miles away.
Then you sneak up and lace me with lead
Or I fall for your cruel claymore again.
I pass hours
In ten minute increments,
Reincarnated with a need for revenge.
Rising in ranks
Building my options,
Breaking a sweat sitting still.
Full filling a duty
In an electric society.

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To a light grey soul

No black aura
No white
Shades of varied grey
Till we pass away
And our aura
Lingers,
All we leave behind.
Look for the light in the blackest soul
The spoiled child who became a rancid man,
Forgive him for he,
As we all are,
Was a victim of his poison environment.
Though a willing participant
In the pain of others,
He had friends and lovers too,
Deranged and estranged
He had a mother whom he nursed on
The hearse now on it's way.
Forgive him
Become a lighter shade of grey,
Be thankful the darkness has passed
See the light of day,
It will dawn on you,
Compassion will set you free
From the dark aura
You can't forget,
Only forgive for your own sake.

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